How Do You Handle Family and Friends?

How do I handle my family and friends with this job? I'll start by saying that my answer is not everyone's answer. Many people need to hide it for various reasons. Societal, familial, religious, cultural...and the list goes on. I came to the conclusion that I have no reason to hide what I do. I weighed things out very carefully, going over worst-case scenarios and any blowback that might happen to the people closest to me. I even sat down and had a talk with people who are frequently seen with me, post photos with me, or are around me a lot. Because I felt like they needed to be part of this decision since my choice could affect them in one of those previously mentioned ways.

I handle them by being honest and open about who I am, what I do, and why it is a legitimate business and form of work. No, not everyone is happy with it. No, not everyone accepts it. I am still opened about it.

My friends are much easier to handle. I run in circles that include a lot of musicians, kinksters, and nerds. Those three do tend to overlap in spaces. These are all circles where being open about what I do isn't usually met with rudeness or someone saying something awful. All of my friends know what I do. Many of them have genuine questions. Some of them ask me for advice about certain things, or ask where they can find something. Not a single friend or close friend has had a problem with my work.

In fact, many of my friends feel comfortable enough to come and speak with me if they want to explore with a partner or explore by themselves. They know I'm going to approach their question with no judgment and steer them in the right direction. I've had male friends ask me about toys for men, female friends ask me about exploring with partners and so much more. It's nice to have an open group of friends.

Family is a different story. My mom and step dad both know what I do. My mom isn't happy about it, and she has some unhealthy hangups, but she does accept it. I would assume the few relatives I'm in touch with also know by now. There is one family member who does not know and no one is going to tell that person. They're very much into incel and "alpha male" culture, pretty abusive and hateful toward women, and we have no relationship. Anyone in my family who knows about me has made it clear they won't be telling that person.

Sure, I have relatives who have some not so nice things to say. Either I shut them down with facts, or I tell them they're being stupid and cut the conversation off. It's a good idea to pick battles, and I don't have to get into every little thing they mention or have an issue with. Many times, friends and relatives are full of genuine questions instead of anger or poorly informed stereotypes. I try to be as understanding as possible when the bad stereotypes come into play, and make sure that I debunk those while I answer the questions.

For the most part, I handle everyone equally. I'm open and honest about what I do and who I am. I come armed with facts, figures, and understanding to make sure any questions are answered without issue.